Starting Restoration: Beauty From Ashes
The comment I hear most often from women wanting to minister to women who have experienced sexual abuse is, “I know the need is great, but I don’t know where to start.”
It seems nearly everyone I speak with these days knows a woman who has experienced sexual abuse. What begins as a lighthearted conversation about my work often shifts suddenly into something much deeper. Many respond with something like, “I have a dear friend—or a cousin-- who went through this unthinkable crime. My heart aches as I watch her struggle.”
The need truly is great. We watch loved ones wrestle for years—sometimes decades--with shame, pain, anxiety, depression, and deep feelings of inadequacy.
While it was never a path I personally sought, God called me to help the hurting--specifically those who have endured sexual abuse. Though the abuse may have occurred in a past season many years ago, the scars often remain for a lifetime.
God has equipped me to create a comprehensive program that blends trauma-evidenced recovery practices with the healing balm of His Word and presence. He has also gifted me with the spiritual gifts of mercy, healing, administration, and teaching. By bringing these together, I feel confident in the materials developed through Restoration Ministries.
If you feel called to help hurting women--especially those who have experienced sexual abuse—I encourage you to consider walking alongside someone through the Restoration journey.
How do you make a difference in this world? One person at a time. Perhaps God will lead you to minister to more, but there is no shame in starting small. In fact, this is what I recommend.
Perhaps God is tugging at your heart to help bring healing to others, most specifically by starting a Restoration: Beauty From Ashes group in your community. Always begin with prayer, surrendering your path to God’s will and timing. A wise mentor told me that nothing of eternal value ever begins without prayer.
Maybe you already have one woman in mind whom you’d like to help. You could start by sharing the website with her and encouraging her to give the study a try. You might even feel led to purchase the book and video access for her. Or perhaps God is calling you to support more than one woman at a time by starting a small group of 3-8 women, even if sexual abuse is not part of your personal story.
The best way to start a Restoration ministry is to pray that God would reveal or bring to you a core group of women--women you personally know who have experienced sexual abuse and who are seeking healing. Simply sharing with close friends your desire to start a Restoration group will also open the door for them to share with other women that they know who have experienced this abuse.
We serve a mighty and incredible God who often brings the right people across our path in His perfect timing. When I share what I do, I often tell people they likely know a woman who has experienced sexual abuse. If they do, I let them know where local Restoration groups are meeting, so they can pass the information along.
As word travels that you are starting a group (more on how to do that in another blog), keep in mind that your small group can be beautifully diverse—a mix of ages, backgrounds, and life experiences. There is such value in learning from one another’s differences and shared struggles.
What’s most important is that each woman in the group is willing to walk through the Restoration steps, participate in small group discussion, honestly share her beliefs and struggles, and commit to doing the homework.
Each group should have a designated leader who handles the administrative tasks, as well as someone who facilitates the sessions. Most likely in a first session, this will be the same person.
Keep the group size between four and eight women, with somewhere in the middle being ideal. For this first round, it may be best to begin by personal invitation only—that is, inviting women you already know who have shared their experience of surviving sexual abuse. A public, open invitation may draw more interest than you can realistically manage at this early stage.
If you’re having difficulty reaching the minimum number of participants, consider approaching a few trusted ministry leaders in your church—such as those involved in Celebrate Recovery, Care Team, or Women’s Ministry. Ask if they would be willing to confidentially share word of the new Restoration group with women who have previously disclosed their past abuse to them.
To preserve privacy and respect confidentiality, it’s best for these ministry leaders or mutual friends to pass along your contact information, allowing interested women to reach out to you directly—rather than you contacting them first. This approach honors their autonomy and helps ensure a safe and trusting environment from the beginning.
Visit the www.restorationbfa.org website to download the free Leader’s Guide to obtain other important information before starting a group. Be on the lookout for more information in next week’s blog, specifically on choosing a time and place to meet.
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For women who have experienced sexual abuse—those who appear to be “doing life” but are still carrying deep, hidden wounds--the Restoration: Beauty From Ashes program might be the help they’ve been longing for.
This program is not a replacement for professional licensed trauma therapy, nor is it recommended for those who have experienced sexual abuse within the past year.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual abuse, I encourage you to visit restorationbfa.org. You may even feel led to talk with your pastor or women’s ministry leader about offering a Restoration group at your church.
If you’re met with resistance--or don’t have a church home--consider starting a group on your own. Everything you need to begin--the books, videos, and a comprehensive leader’s guide—is available on the website.
If sexual abuse is part of your story, please don’t suffer in silence; and if God breaks your heart for the hurting, be the one who speaks up. Be the one who offers hope, help, and healing resources.
